City Life

I am the WORST at consistent blogging. I have a new found respect for alll the faithful bloggers out there. I humbly admit if I ever actually had 3 followers...I may be the only one now reading this post. Oh well, I guess it can be a personal therapy post:) So this past weekend I was in Chicago doing another SEED event through Park Community Church. Really cool place. Must say I kind of fell in love with that city, it didn't even take 24hours! Reasons: architecture. atmosphere. people. river. lake michigan. autumn. clean city. amazing food and coffee. There are more reasons but i'll just stop at that. While there I was confronted with another reality of myself. It's amazing how Jesus challenges me and speaks to me through the strangest of situations. This one happened through a homeless and broken little old lady. What I realized from the experience was not new to me but was the first time I recognized what is behind the emotion I feel in uncomfortable situations with poor, homeless people. First I realized I cannot walk by one homeless person with out feeling sick to my stomach and a desire to help them. So why do I walk by so many times? Perhaps it's my analytical mind. I have learned about the manipulative poor, how it doesn't help long term to throw money in a bucket and walk away. I've learned the money given in that manner can be used for things other than food as well as the fact that it can be a false comfort that "I've been good." Basically its the whole idea of easing the guilt one feels for the homeless person who has nothing while I or whoever it is, has plenty. So what do we do about this? No matter the practical reasons which may have some truth to them, the person is still in need. So, give or don't give? that tis the question...

My fear and guilt I feel have nothing to do with possible danger/harm. Maybe that's because my mind doesn't really travel down that path often. What I do fear, is my incapability. I have fear with the reality of there being so much need and so little to give. Sounds pretty silly, I know. Of course I don't have the capability to provide for all the needs of the poor. I am one person. Okay, that's common knowledge. BUT, Jesus is capable. I spend so much time using my physical eyes that I miss what is going on through spiritual eyes. Why do I/we make it so complicated? The proverbs says to help when it is in your power to act. So do I drop in the only dollar in my pocket or invite the guy to lunch? Do I walk by and simply pray for that person that Jesus would touch them? Do I share the gospel with them? Do I give them instructions to a place where they can be rehabilitated? Do I just sit down and listen? Yes.
I learn this over and over again but until I learn to walk consistently by the Spirit, my mind will act instead of the Spirit. My mind confuses me, but the Spirit frees me. I think it depends. Basically all this to say, it was a great reality check of walking by the Spirit and how the Spirit leads me in each moment. It goes back to desperation, it goes back to listening, it goes back to resting...its all connected. When I am desperately seeking the Lord, I am listening, and then I am resting in His peace. Every moment of every day becomes an opportunity. An opportunity to love the little old lady that's homeless. An opportunity to love that ritzy women in the designer boots who seems to wealthy to need help. An opportunity to smile at the clerk in walmart or pick up the child that falls while running. Or bless and pray for the car right beside me at a stoplight. Always an opportunity. It's a lifestyle. It's walking by the Spirit. I want to learn this. I want to live this. Teach me Papa how to walk in love. Tangibly and extravagantly.